margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
