sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
