i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize