I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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