ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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