I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
