He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize