Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
