I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
