so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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