So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
