i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize