Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
