We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
