sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
