that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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