Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
