Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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