Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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