I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
now i know why i became what i already was.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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