Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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