Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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