i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize