After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
