I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
