Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
