I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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