You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
only if we run a train.
done.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
