new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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