just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
