erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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