me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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