I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He shit in the fireplace
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
