I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
