Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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