As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
