there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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