so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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