i think i have herpe
just one?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
