Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I could make wine with my vomit
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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