he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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