did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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