Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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