god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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