I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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