Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were trust falling into bushes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
