i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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