So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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