remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
