So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
