just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome