Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
