maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY