The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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