I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
