So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
