He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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