I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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