Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
