Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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