Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
