Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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