also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
