3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
