We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
