i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
