I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
