also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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