You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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