First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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