We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
