Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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