Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
